The holiday season is a wonderful time to celebrate all the blessings in our lives. It is a time to reflect on a year that has passed and our resolutions for the upcoming new year. But it is also a time that can be difficult for many of us with chronic illnesses, such as inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). And this is where the importance of awareness and advocacy of our conditions come into the picture.
As joyous of a time that the holidays are, many of us struggle to keep up with the shopping, the eating, the drinking, the travel and all the social merriment of the holiday season. Oftentimes, we may feel guilty for not being able to partake and for having to take time to rest. But, to take care of ourselves and do our bodies justice, it is important to take a step back and prioritize. Below are some tips on how I navigate the aforementioned aspects of the holidays:
Eating & Drinking: Eat and drink what we can and try not to overdo it. Many of us have dietary restrictions, so it may be worth bringing our own food or eating beforehand and nibbling at parties. Potlucks are always fun and allow us to bring food items we can enjoy. If dessert is a problem, it might not be worth feeling bad about it. It is what it is and we have to do what’s best for our health.
With regard to drinking, hydration is more important so if we can’t drink alcohol, that’s okay. There are other great alternatives, including apple cider and sparkling drinks. If those aren’t an option either, that’s okay too. It’s best to do what makes sense for our own optimal health.
Social Merriment: Social activities can be particularly difficult especially if we are hosting holiday parties and doing the bulk of the cooking. My advice is to not take on too much and cater when you can. Potlucks, as mentioned earlier, are a good way to involve guests and take some of the burden off of the host.
As for attending parties and family events, sometimes it is tough because we may not feel well and/or need to cancel last minute. As awful as we might feel about it, it is best to take a step back and recognize that we are doing the best that we can given our circumstances. So if we need to cancel or be delayed, it may be worth cutting ourselves some slack.
Shopping: Many of us with IBD cannot afford to shop until we drop. We are often plagued by thoughts of where the nearest bathroom is and if we will make it in time given all the holiday crowds and lines. Buying gifts online or in short intervals and resting in between may work better for our illnesses. We have to be the best judge of what may or may not work for us and come up with alternative solutions to reach the same end goal.
Travel: Traveling can be particularly difficult but not impossible. Perhaps leave a day or two before the crowds head out and try to travel on the holiday itself (Christmas Day or New Years’ Day). Pack all your medications and snacks and ask for a wheelchair if you need to at the airport. There is nothing wrong with doing what’s best to preserve our health while traveling.
So, what do all these tips ultimately boil down to? Being our best advocate and practicing self-care, which are especially important during the holidays. Over-stretching ourselves in terms of commitments and what we can eat and drink can often lead to disease flare-ups and unnecessary guilt and regret. So, finding ways to balance our health with our commitments is optimal. How do I do that? Below are some tips on how to keep a balance:
Take time to rest in between events. Resting gives us time to gather our thoughts, process and rejuvenate for the next event on our calendar. It gives our bodies and our guts a chance to heal and move forward. So I often nap in between events and relax by watching movies, reading books and meditating to allow my body a chance to decompress and ease into the next event.
Ask for help. Asking for help doesn’t mean we are less than or not capable enough. It means we are self-aware enough to know what we can and cannot handle. So if we need a ride to or from an event or if we need help cooking, cleaning or carrying our shopping bags, it is important to express it and advocate for our needs. This way we can get through the holidays without burning out physically and emotionally.
Say no when we aren’t feeling well. Saying no is super important and is often a struggle but it needs to be done sometimes. So, if you have to cancel, it’s okay. As much as we want to beat ourselves up or feel guilty, nothing truly constructive comes from doing so. True friends and family will understand and support us regardless of whether we can make it to every occasion. So it is best communicate how we are feeling and how much we wish we could make it but that our health needs some extra attention right now.
Communication is key in navigating illness during the holidays. Ultimately, communicating what we can and cannot do is a form of creating awareness for our conditions. And asking for what we might need is especially important during the holidays when social situations and food/drink come to the forefront. By advocating for ourselves, we help our loved ones understand and accept our predicament so that everyone can enjoy the holidays and not feel uncomfortable.
One thing that’s really helped me over the years is by sharing and hearing the stories of others. Hearing others’ experiences both in the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation’s support groups and in online forums has helped me recognize I’m not alone as I navigate IBD with loved ones during the holidays. Over the years, I have also followed a number of patient advocates who have done all of the above and are now blogging, tweeting and posting about their experiences. As a result, I feel that much more empowered to take care of myself and put my body first. Knowing others faced the same battles and got through them well enough to now be helping others is both uplifting and encouraging. Why? Because the perspectives of patient advocates reframe the IBD experience into a more positive one where we too can enjoy the holidays despite living with a chronic condition.
Managing IBD is never easy but doing so during the holidays often requires tremendous finesse and patience. So, own your Crohn’s, own your chronic illness, and head in to the holidays knowing that you too can partake in the merriment by creating awareness for your condition and advocating for your needs.
Happy holidays & a very happy & healthy New Year to you all!!
~Love, light & peace always~
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to drop me a line and let me know if there are future topics you would like for me to discuss!
